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Dr Jill Biden has shared her advice for working mothers amid the pandemic while reflecting on her own experiences juggling a career with raising children.
The First Lady, who has announced her intention to keep her job as a community college English professor, discussed the realities of being a working mother during an interview with Parents, where she encouraged mothers facing burnout to “find moments for yourself” and remember that they are “strong”.
Explaining that she teaches a lot of mothers at her school, Northern Virginia Community College, Dr Biden said she sees firsthand the ways they are juggling jobs and caring for children and family members, all while trying to stay on top of schoolwork.
“What I tell them is that you have to find moments for yourself. You have to. We moms spend so much time questioning ourselves – at least I did. We need time to just quiet those voices in our head,” she said.
The 69-year-old also examined the ways the pandemic has made life for working mothers even more difficult, acknowledging that they can no longer send their children to school while they work or plan playdates to help children burn off their energy.
“Many moms were having a hard time juggling it all before the pandemic. Now they can’t send their kids to school while they work. There are no playdates to help burn off energy. They’ve lost the network of family and friends who can help out. And they’re expected to supervise remote learning while working or job hunting,” she said.
Dr Biden recalled one moment during the campaign trail where she met a mother who had quit her job to take care of her son with a disability because of the supervision required of his remote learning.
According to Dr Biden, the woman “made less than her husband, so of course, she was the one to quit”.
“I think stories like that are playing out in a lot of homes,” she said.
As for what she would say to those who are struggling, the First Lady took the opportunity to remind mothers that they are doing the best they can and that they are not failing.
She said: “Maybe you’ve made mac ‘n’ cheese for dinner one too many times. Maybe your temper is shorter than usual. Maybe you’re too tired to be the ‘fun mom.’ It’s okay. You’re not failing. You’re strong. You’re resilient.
“And you’re doing your best to carry your family through one of the most difficult times in memory. We’re going to do everything we can to get through this, together.”
According to Dr Biden, she believes new policies such as “equal pay,” “affordable, quality child-care,” and “paid family leave” would be helpful in making “all parents feel able to work and take care of their families”.
During the interview, Dr Biden also opened up about raising her and President Joe Biden’s children, sons Beau and Hunter and daughter Ashley, and the ways her husband supported her both in her career and as a mother.
According to Dr Biden, when she married her husband, who was then a single father to Beau and Hunter, in 1977, he knew that she’d “always wanted two things – a marriage that was strong, loving, and full of laughter, and a career”.
To support her ambitions, Dr Biden said her husband would do small but helpful things such as taking their children somewhere to give her a quiet house when she needed to write a paper.
At other times, the first lady said she would multi-task, which occasionally required her to grade papers on the bleachers of her sports practises, before rushing home to make dinner.
After Mr Biden, who was then a senator, came home for dinner, which he did every night at 7.40pm, he would care for the children before putting them to bed so Dr Biden could study for graduate school.
“Everything in life has a season, and we all take turns needing support and giving it,” she said.
Despite having help from both her husband and her family, Dr Biden admitted that she was “unprepared for raising boys” when she first took on the role of mother.
“When we got married, I was unprepared for raising boys. I’m the oldest of five girls. And Beau and Hunter truly were rough-and-tumble, sweaty, messy boys,” she recalled before sharing an anecdote about President Biden’s late son Beau bringing a snake into the house.
According to Dr Biden, with the couple’s daughter Ashley, their “tastes were more aligned”.
However, the educator also noted that her daughter was “just as stubborn and passionate as I was,” and that she would leave sneakers near the door during Ashley’s teenage years so she could run out her frustrations.
“It’s not a coincidence that I became a marathoner,” she said.
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