I guess I’m still supposed to care about Johnny Manziel?

I’ll be honest, I haven’t cared about Johnny Manziel since long before he was investigated for the domestic abuse of his then-girlfriend, Colleen Crowley. If you’ll recall, Manziel was charged with misdemeanor assault following allegations that he struck Crowley several times after the couple left a Dallas bar in January of 2016. That was followed by his father calling him “a druggie” and publicly hoping he went to jail, his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, deciding to cut ties with him, and the Cleveland Browns unceremoniously dumping him.

Since then, Manziel has continued to play football in various non-NFL places, and I guess people still care? He suited up for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats in 2017 and 2018, then the Montreal Alouettes in 2018, where he played 8 games and battled to hold on to the starting QB spot, then headed to the AAF’s Memphis Express in 2019. And we all know how that ended. In 2020, Manziel announced his retirement from football in a TMZ exclusive (of course).

I don’t have anything against the guy (outside of the domestic violence history), and I wish him and the women in his life all the best. I just haven’t found him or anything he does interesting for years. Manziel’s story is that of a thousand college stars who never make it in the NFL. He’s the football version of The Wonders without the amazing song (RIP Adam Schlesinger).

Yet Johnny Manziel continues to play football and people continue to write about it for reasons. If you missed it, Manziel returned to the gridiron today for his Fan Controlled Football debut (seriously, enough with the PR emails, I’m not interested) with his team, the Zappers. Manziel admitted he joined FCF out of boredom, which is finally something about Johnny Manziel I can relate to.

Manziel was fine today, he almost ran his first snap in for six points. In the FCF. I mean, I don’t even know what level of football we’re talking about here. AAF? XFL? A tier below that? I have no idea. That’s how little I care.

Johnny Manziel last played in the NFL six years ago, and I struggle to think of anyone else whose career we are still following six years after they washed out of the NFL. Yet here we are.

Later, Manziel managed to find the end zone:

So, I guess… yay?

Manziel’s Zappers lost to the Miro/Renee Montgomery/Marshawn Lynch-owned Beasts 48-44, if that’s something that’s interesting to you. I looked around to try to find Manziel’s stats for a while, then got bored and gave up. Because no matter how hard teams try to fill the void left in all our hearts after the NFL season is over, none of it ever lives up to the NFL. And FCF seems to be following suit, despite the fact that the league features fans voting on everything from uniforms to rules to what the coaches wear.

Meanwhile, here is Manziel’s coach, Coach Jenks. Like Manziel’s stats, I couldn’t find his first name anywhere, including the official FCF site.

The fans voted on the pants.