How to Overcome Existential Anxiety during Uncertain Times

By Keith Kurlander, MA, LPC,
and Will Van Derveer, MD

We are all feeling a lot of immediate stress right now; we are in the middle of a pandemic. It feels as if life
has changed forever, and for understandable reason: Our stressors aren’t going away anytime soon. The pandemic
will likely impact our social habits for years before we can return to a prepandemic way of life, which means our current stressors are only half of the story.

When we are stressed and worrying about things that haven’t happened yet but might happen, that’s anxiety. What’s
important to recognize is that we can influence these events only to a certain degree. We have to find balance in
how much focus we give them: Focusing too much on stressful external events can lead to feelings of angst,
agitation, and fear, while not paying enough attention enough can breed apathy, disconnection, and despair.

Anxiety, more often than not, is driven by the meaning we attribute to the events around us.

Balancing the Story

Viktor Frankl, a physician who survived the Nazi concentration camps and later wrote the classic book Man’s
Search for Meaning, said “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to
choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” In other words, the way we make meaning of events and
circumstances is a key factor in determining our stress and mental well-being.

Too often, the human mind automatically generates a negative story of what is happening and what’s to come. For
example, the pandemic is triggering a lot of anxiety for a lot of people. Sometimes that anxiety is appropriate:
It can help us plan ahead and keep ourselves safe. But some of that anxiety is not useful, and it can damage our
mental health.

Here’s an example of a negative story about the pandemic: A lot of people are thinking, The next two or three
years are going to suck. My kids are going to be schooled from home, I’m not going to get to hang out with my
friends, and the economy is going to crash.

These predictions about the future assume we’ll experience more drawbacks than benefits. Whenever we take this
perspective, we naturally feel anxious because we are predicting that the challenges ahead will only hurt us.

Here’s a more balanced perspective, which frames the challenges of the pandemic within the opportunities that
might come out of it. We might think something like, I will have more time to be with my family because I’m
not going to be with my friends as often. Or: Maybe not seeing my friends for a while will result in my
not taking them as much for granted. Or: I’m saving a lot of time by not having to commute to work
anymore, so I can cook good food at home and save a lot of money by not eating out as much.

We can commit to balancing our perspective by looking for the upsides of these challenges, which will in turn
reduce our anxiety and open our mind to future possibilities that may benefit us.

Initially, it may seem paradoxical that there are upsides to big challenges. The above exercise may be
challenging itself: It can be counterintuitive to consider that there are opportunities inside events we would prefer were not
happening at all. Balancing the story is not about avoiding the pain of what we are dealing with or not taking
action. It’s about adopting a mindset in which your story, mind, and emotions are a strong foundation for staying
focused, strategic, and effective in navigating tough circumstances.

You might even find that this balanced outlook is contagious. Together, we can create a better future—and
appreciate the path along the way.