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Welcome to Declassified, a weekly column wanting on the lighter aspect of politics.
It went from sunlit uplands to, “Everything will be confiscated. Welcome to the Brexit, sir,” fairly shortly, didn’t it.
Yes, Brits arriving within the Netherlands have had their ham sandwiches taken off them by border guards as a result of, underneath EU guidelines, vacationers can’t carry meat and dairy merchandise into the bloc.
Video footage from Dutch TV confirmed a hapless Brit asking a customs official on the Hook of Holland (quickly to be renamed the Ham Hock of Holland) “Can I take off the meat and leave me the bread?” and being instructed, “No.” Oh, and don’t even take into consideration, er, posting a ham sandwich to Europe and consuming it upon arrival as you’ll be hit with import duty.
Sadly, former Belgian Interior Minister Jan Jambon was unavailable for remark.
Thankfully, there may be another choice for Brits who don’t wish to be parted from their reformed meat-based lunch — drive off as quick as you’ll be able to and don’t get caught.
According to French officers, speeding tickets and other fines for motoring offenses issued to British drivers within the EU can not be enforced. British drivers can nonetheless be issued on-the-spot penalties if caught by the cops, however in actuality will not be despatched fines after returning house. However, the identical additionally applies to EU drivers within the U.Ok.
As properly as rushing within the Cotswolds, the French are additionally wanting ahead to the return from area of a dozen bottles of Bordeaux. The wine spent a yr in area to a) additional agricultural science and b) see if the astronauts on the International Space Station might resist the temptation to get wasted and head to the moon to see if it truly is made from cheese, ideally a Comté.
Someone who’s not driving, consuming wine or consuming ham sandwiches is our old friend Jake Angeli — who additionally goes by the title Jacob Chansley and whom you would possibly know higher as Bison Man. After being arrested following his distinguished function in storming the U.S. Capitol, Angeli refused to eat the jail meals as a result of it wasn’t natural.
His mom instructed local media outdoors the courthouse in Phoenix that her 33-year-old son “gets very sick if he doesn’t eat organic food.” He feels like simply the particular person to steer a coup and the ensuing bloody civil battle.
CAPTION COMPETITION
“I’m afraid the snowman’s now part of your coronavirus bubble and the only person you can have contact with until August.”
Can you do higher? Email [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
Last week we gave you this photograph:
Thanks for all of the entries. Here’s the very best from our postbag (there’s no prize aside from the present of laughter, which I feel we are able to all agree is way extra priceless than money or booze).
“Primary schools reopen after an extended break,” by Charles Kingsmill.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot information editor.
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